Friendship Dynamics - Responses II
- Ntombizodwa Luwaca
- Apr 20, 2020
- 4 min read
R: Response
Q: Question from me
WHAT TYPES OF PEOPLE DO YOU NOT WANT AS FRIENDS?
RESPONSE I
R: People who have drama, they bring a lot of drama. It’s something that I watched my friend experience with her other group of friends and it was a lot just from listening and observing. In a sense it that has other factors involved such as being petty, selfish, inconsiderate. It’s just an all round odd energy, that I wouldn’t want to partake in.
Q: Do you think it's possible to live drama free?
R: I don’t know, perhaps not. I believe communication and honesty can help avoid majority of the drama that happens or at least avoid it from escalating.
Q: Is all drama real?
R: Real? I think drama comes from either miscommunication or a personal problem that you’re projecting onto others. If I’m understanding you correctly.
Q: By "real", I mean: could drama be created for attention, clout etc. Or is it always real?
R: Ohhhh. Norr it’s not real.
RESPONSE II
R: People who feel like the world revolves around them
Q: What bothers you about these type of people?
R: They are only "friends" when it suits them
Q: So you're basically not one for inconsistent friends?
R: Like I'm one person who would help anyone and everyone in need, regardless of whether I like you or not but don't call yourself my friend if I am falling back and you will not catch me.
"TOXIC AF, UNREASONABLE AF, INCONSIDERATE, JEALOUS BITCHES"
RESPONSE III
R: TOXIC AF (AS F***), UNREASONABLE AF , INCONSIDERATE, JEALOUS BITCHES
Q: I'm assuming you're only referring to girls here right?
R: Yes only girls
Q: And guys?
R: Yeah they have bad traits too but they don't have the toxicity girls have
Q: Define "toxic"?
R: People who never compliment you when you achieve something but rather tell you that they did it better or someone else did it better. People who are always there to prey on your insecurities and make you feel even more insecure about yourself. Also, a person who gossips tooo much. Like if you're telling me how someone was talking about me with you, it means that person felt comfortable enough to talk about me with you because you gave them reason and also that begs the question: "what did you say when that person talked that shit?" And "why are you still talking to that person ?"
Q: Interesting. And with guys?
R: Lol I don't know, I'd say guys aren't that bad at friendships, only that they are bad at relationships or when they want to turn the friendship into something more than a friendship.
"..simply because it doesn't align with my morals and principles.."RESPONSE IV
R: Morally corrupt
Condescending
Dishonest
2-faced
Q: What do you mean by morally corrupt?
R: Like, I think as people we all have a set of moral principles that we abide by and use to guide our lives. I wouldn't be friends with someone who believes it's okay to steal or shop lift simply because it doesn't align with my morals and principles
Q: And 2-faced?
R: Being insincere. Acting like a friend but being unhappy when your "friends" succeed or speaking badly about your friends when they aren't around.
"Friends that feel their personalities and beliefs are the benchmark of life"RESPONSE V
R: Judge Judies
Q: Yeah? What are those?
R: Friends that feel their personalities and beliefs are the benchmark of life. They judge you for being you. I believe a good friend will lookout for you but allow you to be you as long as you're comfortable and happy with.
"They'd do anything to fit even if it means betraying their true friends"RESPONSE VI
R: Fake people who cannot confront issues with me straight ahead but go to other groups and discuss their issues about me with them. People who are judgmental in general and in any situation. People who wouldn't allow me to be myself in any way, like why are you my friend in the first place if you don't like my real self.
Most important validation seekers!!!!!
Q: Validation seekers?
R: People who do things out of the norm for them to find approval from certain social groups. I say it's the most important one because I feel like those people cannot be loyal friends ever. They'd do anything to fit even if it means betraying their true friends
"if you're my friend, you're guaranteed that i have CHOSEN to have your back"RESPONSE VII
R: 'Friends' who don't 'choose' me. When I love something or someone I do so wholeheartedly, same with friends, if you're my friend, you're guaranteed that I have CHOSEN to have your back, will come through for you and love and care for you etc. I don't want friends who won't choose me back.
Q: This is beautiful. How far do you "come through" for the ones you've chosen? What's your limit? How and when do you know when it's too much?
R: I think over the years, I have learned to come through for someone as much as they do for me. Its unfortunate, but life has taught me that. Because often major advantage is taken of people who do and give. But I often start, i.e: give/ come through as far possible as I can, and as often as I can, but pay attention to when I need you to come through for me. Then my next 'come through' encounter will be based on that. Its horrible (I know) but I learned the hard way.
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