Friendship Dynamics - Responses VI
- Ntombizodwa Luwaca
- Apr 23, 2020
- 4 min read
R: Response
Q: Question from me
HOW DO YOU THINK SOCIAL MEDIA HAS CHANGED THE DEFINITION OF A FRIEND?
RESPONSE I
"The quality of bonds in friendships has deteriorated"R: Zero change. Social media friends are far. I might be regarded as needy, because I want to touch, feel and be physically present. So virtual friends are just that, not regarded as real friends. Q: Do you think that some people get so lost in their virtual friends that they forget the importance of having physical friends? R: Yes, and I don't think I can fault them in that. Often 'fantasies' and 'unrealistic' things are so much better than reality. And most people prefer the easy way, 'less drama' etc... Unfortunately I think they do get lost there, but I don't fault them.
"Friendships are in quarantine, everything online"
RESPONSE II R: The quality of bonds in friendships has deteriorated.
If I hadn't posted a sad status, would you check up on me?
If I post you everyday, then I'm a true best friend, I appreciate you, it means I love you better than everyone else But from the bottom of my heart, do I really? Am I what I caption your pictures with, do I mean it? Friendships are in quarantine, everything online. You can't even tell I'm depressed or I was crying. Because calls are outdated and we're just too busy. Q: I don't even have a follow up question to that. That is some serious truth there. But if I were to ask something: do you think that we've reached a stage where some people ONLY feel validated as friends when they are paraded on social media? And how does this make you feel? What would you do if you had such a friend? R: Yes. Even in relationships, they only feel validated when paraded on social media. To them that's assurance that they're loved and they're the only ones. Sweetheart the assurance left when you started looking for it. It's a feeling, if its not established on that level, then it's not there. Same applies to friendships I mean yes, we have to accept that these are the times were living in and things are changing but let's not allow it to change the true meaning of things as well. Let's not just be posters, but true good friends from the core. Care for me before you show people that you have data. I personally have a friend, she never speaks to me. All she does is to post my same old picture I took in 2016, with a heart emoji as a caption. I respond with "thanks love you too, how are you though?". And she blue ticks that, till next time she posts and the cycle continues. Literally.
"Care for me before you show people that you have data." 
RESPONSE III R: Everyone expects you and your friends to flourish, it must look like everything is going good Q: Does social media *expect* us to be perfect? Or do we *try* to seem perfect for social media? response was given as a voice note* R: Social media makes us think that all friendships are perfect, and then it puts pressure on us to also have perfect friendships which are unattainable.
RESPONSE I R: Encountered someone I used to confide in about everything slept with my high school sweetheart for months.
RESPONSE II R: First the mission was to get me to the lead position while isolating me from all the ones who built the leader I was isolate me in the name of acquiring power and loyalty, for the bigger cause of the future -Secondly, the mission was to create chaos, chaos only he could manage and control, and project it as threat to leadership while he also strategically positioned himself to provide the strategic and "politically wise reaction to the so called war" -The third step was to present himself as the only loyal and trustworthy"friend" when everyone else is at war with the leadership while keeping me away from the fact that the so called war might have never existed -The forth step was to ensure the focus was more on "power" and the importance of power. How to use fear and slowly changing me from the person I was. -The fifth step was to toss me off the cliff after no one would be close enough to even notice all that was ever going to be remembered was a shadow that was supposed to shine but fell short of what it would ever be able to be However, I saw it while it was around step 4 and luckily, he dropped me off the cliff yet I had accumulated enough room for the drop, I had my way out However, as we speak I lost half of my friends, some of which were loyal since the first day. I destroyed my image, lost a lot of integrity, and I was left to clear up the mess that was created. The organisation came crushing, hatred and rivalry was born and the mastermind behind all this was left looking like a saint while we all crashed. And today, I'm going to send him a birthday message.
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