Thirst Trap I

I won’t lie, I was the biggest nerd in high school. I kind of didn’t want to be, but I had already been placed in that box by; teachers, friends and classmates, so it was kind of hard to get out of. My weekly routine found me taking a bus to school at 6.40am (later changed to 7.30 at the end of matric 😊) , getting to school approximately 30 minutes later, school school school and more school, after school I would either have prefect duty, a club or just chill with a friend then head straight home. At home, homework and cooking would be my priority, then we move straight into sleep or studying. Weekends would be filled with more studying, maybe a quick trip to the grocery shop, church, ironing for the week then watching TV. I basically had no social life. Boo hoo :/

Varsity life introduced me to the idea of a social life, although in the first year it was highly dysfunctional, it was still somewhat of a social life. Varsity also introduced me to what i'd would like to call: THIRST TRAP Residential Parties, aka res parties. Before these, I had basically never been to a party, unless we are counting my matric dance as a party, then yeah, I had been to one party.

In my first year I might have attended just over 8 res parties, with all of them being impulsive decisions of freshly liberated 18-20-year olds. There are five things that are associated with every res party, it’s like a recipe. If I don’t find this happening, I end up asking myself if it is a legit res party.

PRE-DRINKS

Basically, these ensure that you at least get tipsy before the party. Students are broke, they cannot afford to buy the cup and the alcohol more than once. Students are also tanks; they will not get drunk off one cup of beer or cider. So, it’s important that they dangerously mix at least 5 bottles of vodka, a bottle of gin, some Liqui-fruit cranberry cooler and a cordial and drink it like juice to get ready for the night.

DRESSING FOR THE DARK

The girls dress up, only to be seen by the dark. They spend approximately three hours putting on make up, changing skirts, borrowing heels and hyping each other up whilst drinking that dangerous concoction I mentioned earlier. Bear in mind that some girls cannot handle it, so by the time they leave their rooms, the floor is a little warped. No one ever really takes the time to appreciate their outfits though, the guys are already undressing them in their minds, the clothes are not a factor. However, the shorter the pants or skirt a girl wears, the bigger the target on her behind will be.

COULDN'T CARE LESS

The boys can rock up in pyjamas, no one will ever know. I have never seen a guy looking his best at a res party. They just roll out of bed and go to hunt.

ARE WE DRINKING OR PARTYING?

Please don’t waste your time trying to stand in the line to get alcohol three hours into the party, you’ll be waiting in that line until the DJ stops his music. Only if you get to the party early, will you get alcohol for R25 and the cup for R5. I'm not sure if you're allowed to come with your own cup, we never prepared for that.

DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DIFFERENT REASONS

Some go to drink, with the aim of getting so drunk that they forget themselves and all their problems. They just want to be numb.

Some go to sell their edibles and make that extra cooooin. I wouldn't play around with those things though. Seriously, don't.

Some just want to see the artists booked for the night. I mean, when are you going to see four popular artists for R30 again? Just go and enjoy their presence.

Some people just go to dance and unwind. They crave having their heart beat changed by ear-deafening music and they want to dance until their legs get cramps for at least the next two or three days.

Some people honestly go there with the intention of stealing other people’s money and cellphones. Be careful of those people. Keep your valuables safe or leave them in your room.

Then MOST people, especially guys, go to trap a drunk girl, kiss her senseless and hopefully “talk a five minute walk” with her to the fences where the unimaginable happens.

Just before the clock strikes twelve midnight, girls might just find guys hanging around them pretending to be enjoying the music, but looking deep into their eyes, hoping they are drunk enough not to notice the predatory moves. The desperation flowing amongst these guys will have you being asked to “get to know you” by over 5 different guys. Just say no.